Ugly American, Party of 1

So I love love LOVE this country, and I hate to seem arrogant, but there are a few things that I am not so crazy about. In case anyone from the French government is reading this: 1. I promise I’m not a terrorist, and 2. Here are a couple of things you really need to jump on the bandwagon for:

  • Late Night Food: You know what I love about America? We know that sometimes, you just need a shitty taco at 4 in the morning on a Tuesday. Here, everything closes a lot earlier (except the bars and clubs which is awesome). But still, what’s the point of staying up and drinking if you can’t follow it by getting cheap, greasy food? Get your shit together France.

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    I’ll give France credit for having a McDonald’s but, as you can see in this picture, it’s only open until 11:30 at night. I didn’t even know people actually went to McDonald’s before midnight.

  • Letting People Pet Your Dogs Without Acting Like They Just Punched You In The Face: Whenever I am away from home, the member of my family that I miss the most is my dog, which I don’t feel bad writing even though my family is going to be reading this because I think it’s pretty common knowledge. Anyway, this means that if I see any kind of dog, anywhere, at anytime, I am pretty much guaranteed to go ape shit, and I WILL pet it. French people don’t seem to appreciate this so much. Once, I went to go pet this lady’s adorable pug while at a cafe and she was sitting completely alone smoking a cigarette. She did not say anything to me or acknowledge me one time in even the slightest bit. Oh well, at least her dog was friendly.

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    This photo is pretty much completely irrelevant to anything in this post, or in general, but today I was walking through the park and saw these men sitting and talking and I thought they looked so cute. Not explained: why one of them is holding a red balloon.

  • Readily Accessible Water/Ice: Since I’ve been here, I absolutely love walking around the city and exploring. But I’ve learned that before I leave, I need to chug water so that by the time I get home my mouth won’t feel like its been through a vacuum cleaner. There are no water fountains (or “bubblers” as some of you in Wisconsin say) and if you ask for water in any type of restaurant, they will give you a bottle that you will have to pay way too much for. Also, even when you order pop in France, they don’t give you ice! I feel like I’m living in a Dickens novel!

There are a few changes that would be pretty easy to make if you ask me. I mean, it’s not like I’m saying that this country should completely overhaul it’s health care system because THAT would be crazy right?

In case anyone is keeping track at home, the most annoying people I have met here have been from Canada. And that’s even WITH the cool points they get when they say words like “about” and “sorry”. 

A bientot! 

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7 responses

  1. Um. Kebabs. That’s all you need to know about drunk food. The places on Gambetta are open late (yes, I know they’re shady). Also the kebab place by Subway (on that street if I can remember right) is also open late I believe.

  2. So…why should THEY change…how about US changing. Who really needs to eat at midnight?

    1. Who DOESN’T need to eat at midnight is the better question!

  3. Canadians rock!

    1. Alright, I’ll give them another chance, but only because you guys made Degrassi and Celine Dion.

  4. bahahahahah I love you! Annnnnnd one thing I love most about other countries is they don’t automatically serve ice in my drinks like dudeeeee it’s already cold. leave me alone! hahahahahha

  5. Photo of the old men is priceless.

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