Paranoia: It’s Not Just For Stoners Sitting in Class After “Lunch”

As my trip to France approaches, I have begun to be overcome by a special kind of paranoia that I can think of no better name for but “What-if-I-am-the-stereotypical-‘Ugly American’-and-everyone-in-Europe-hates-me Syndrome.”

When I first found out that I would be moving to another country for four months, none such fears existed. I mean, I like to think I am a pretty self-aware person who would never shout “Amurrrica!” in a crowded public place, except if I was doing it sarcastically or while having sex with Michael Phelps. After all, I even mentally voted for Obama in the last election (I wasn’t technically old enough to vote at the time), so I thought I MUST be a good person.

However, like all troubles start, things started to turn sour one lonely night when I decided to Facebook creep myself. Looking through my pictures of drunken jubilance and important life moments (the two are not mutually exclusive), two things struck me: 1. I really need to be more selective in my photo-sharing, and 2. Holy crap! I am such a stereotypical American! In case you’re curious, here are some of the stereotypes I’ve been told people hold of the good ol’ U.S. of A.:

 

Americans are loud and obnoxious.

Americans are lazy.

Americans are gluttonous.

Americans like to put on cow mascot heads and box each other.

Okay, so the last one is not as much a current stereotype of Americans, but, honestly, I think we need to work on getting it to be. I’ve done my part so…..c’mon guys.

In conclusion, there is a great likelihood that everyone in Europe will hate me. I can only hope to get by on my charm and boyish good looks. I’m also planning to pick up the jazz flute.

A quick update in case you have not been Facebook stalking me: In less than a month, I will be going to study abroad in Lille, a city in northern France. Going to France has always been a dream of mine and I am hoping to become close-to fluent in French while I am there (I will be taking classes in French, so for the sake of my future law school application, we can only hope I at least get by enough to pass). Other goals include learning about the French culture and generally being a hot-mess without getting kidnapped.

If you like me at all, or hate me and want to hear about the embarrassing things that will inevitably happen, keep reading my blog throughout the semester! Peace and good tidings! (I wasn’t sure how you’re supposed to end a blog post but I’m pretty sure I just nailed it).

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One response

  1. I will be following….. and don’ worry, if anything goes wrong it’s them, not charming, brilliant, wonderful you!
    Kris

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